THE FOUNTAIN
I can tell you the story
Because I remember everything.
I may forget words and faces
But I remember the essence.
Well, I don't have to remember
Because it's all inside of me.
And I don't know exactly
Where do I begin
And where do I end.
So probably nothing is missing
in this story
Though I don't know where it will end...
Probably you don't remember
Because you were sleeping
Like the most part of the world.
But I was awake.
Something was telling me
I should keep myself awake.
I was the one who had to see, feel
And keep everything within.
So I had to be prepared
Always prepared
To receive all beginnings.
All the mysteries
And any insignificant thing.
Though nothing is insignificant
As you know... At least if you
Are not asleep by now...
And even if you are
You’ll hear the story in your sleep.
That sound over your forehead
Is the sound of my wings…
That breeze in your chest
Comes from the trees in this forest…
That glow in your eyes
Comes from the same universal sky…
I live everywhere
Where there is any natural living thing.
I’m just the heart of the Gentle Spirit
Of earth and sky, water and light.
But that is what I am now.
Long ago I was a child
Like any other child.
Except perhaps in one thing.
When they used to ask me
What did I want to be
I always answered:
- I want to be everything!
- But you can´t be everything
You must choose one thing!
I never chose
It was impossible
To be just one thing
There was such a huge world around
Why should I be just one thing?
My life was quite simple
And very ethereal too
Being in my own way
All the things I crossed with.
Good morning, butterfly, how are you?
And that was enough to be that butterfly
Exactly that one
With the same colours and flight movements.
And this way I understood what it really was
To be a butterfly, exactly that butterfly.
It was much more difficult to be a lake
Or a huge mountain.
I had to spend infinite days watching
Walking along the trails
Touching and breathing
Until one fine day
I was the mountain, the lake
The trails, the rocks and all the plants
Along the mountainside.
But then I had to be any tiny thing
Across the mountain too.
And each time I became a new thing
I was still all the others I had been before.
Those were very busy adventurous days
And so they are now.
A long time passed.
I don’t know how old I am
But I think I must be very old.
Today is a fine day to be just a tree leaf
Exactly this leaf of this tree.
This leaf will join the million other leaves
I’ve been and I still am
And the feeling of being the whole forest
All the forests in the world
Will emerge livelier in my mind.
And they kept saying
- But why do you want to be a leaf, a tree, a forest?
I didn’t bother to answer anymore.
All moments are precious.
It’s a waste of time trying to explain
What is supposed to be felt
And experienced deep within.
So today I’m a leaf in one tree of the world.
As I look around I notice this leaf
Is the first leaf of a very old tree.
It must be winter or this tree is very tired
Because I’m the only one growing in her branches.
Then I saw it wasn’t winter.
All the other trees were covered
With beautiful new leaves.
I thought to myself that my inner need
Wasn’t only an idiosyncrasy after all.
It was a very serious and important task
A sacred task of love and dedication.
I had to be not only what already existed
But all the things that were meant to exist.
So here I am waving in this tree branch
Trying to find out what’s the next task.
Cover the whole tree with new green leaves?
Go down to the roots and give them warmth?
Be a sunbeam and caress all the branches?
Be another tree and grow by the side of that old one?
Lost in my thoughts I didn’t notice
The presence of a gentle visitor.
Well it would be difficult to notice him
Because he was gigantic and almost transparent.
«What are you doing, little one?»
So I’m not old, I thought to myself
“He called me little one!”
Then I thought I was really very tiny
Considering his huge presence.
«I’m being a leaf in this tree
I think she needs more leaves»
I explained.
«Well, little one» he said.
«I have a task very similar to yours
Only I’ve been doing it for a long, long time.
Much more than you can imagine
Though I know you have a great imagination
And above all you have a huge heart
In that tiny chest of yours.
Well, sometimes I feel my heart
Is not enough.
So, I’m inviting you
To be my heart.
You won’t be a second heart.
You’ll be within my own heart.
You’ll be the Fountain of Life
Always ticking and eager to go on.
You’ll keep doing what you always did
And you may be sure
I won’t ever ask you why you are doing it.
I know why without asking.»
And may I ask who are you? – I asked.
He said that I surely knew
Without knowing that I knew.
Or I wouldn’t be doing what I was doing
All my life.
Yes, I knew.
And now I know more.
I belong within the Gentle Spirit.
I’m a drop in the fountain that keeps life flowing
Constantly sprouting and ever-changing.
I’m the warm heart beating in all and every
Natural thing that exists
And will exist.
Are you still asleep?
Oh, you are waking up right now!
That’s wonderful!
If you’re not busy
You may come along
And see what’s happening to that old tree
Where, just some moments ago,
I was the only leaf.
Now I’m thousands of leaves
And flowers and fruits.
The tree is covered with leaves
And rejoices with new life.
Within it I hear the ticking of my tiny winged heart
The huge heart of the Gentle Spirit
And the eternal springing of the Fountain of Life.
«Is the story complete?»
No, of course not.
This is an endless story
As all the true stories…
São Ludovino, 5/3/2019
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Tireless Bloomers III, photography by São Ludovino.
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